Why Science and Music Don't Mix
by demonprosecutor
Summary: Three cheers for the worst title ever! :D This is a Daryan/Ema story, cause there aren't enough of these about.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: Daryan/Ema. The irrationality is addictive. This pairing should be canon. It would be if I owned Ace Attorney. But I don't. Oh well. BTW, this story is so incredibly OOC that I fell like banging my head against the wall von Karma style. And if the German is messed up, don't bother correcting it. That'll be Ema messing it up. If it's correct, well done Ema.

Daryan rarely ate in the cafeteria, but due to a broken car, an increasing pile of paperwork, and an impatient stomach, he had no choice. He stared in awe at the mindboggling array of meals he didn't want until he finally picked one out, knowing he would regret it for the rest of the week.

Klavier and the others were eating at their usual joint, and the abandoned guitarist had nobody to sit with. Every table was full – or pretending to be – apart from one.

The corner table was half taken up by its three usual residents and half taken up by three empty chairs. Daryan would have done anything for an empty table with room only for one, but once again he had no choice.

As he walked over, one of the diners – a court bailiff that Daryan knew to be called Meekins – grabbed the man sitting next to him by the arm of his trench coat and dragged him out of the cafeteria. The third diner glanced up, sighed, and indicated tor Daryan to sit in the chair opposite her. He smiled a fake smile and sat down.

"Sorry about them," she muttered, "They have a phobia of jerks." She didn't even glance up from her "Science in Action" magazine.

"I guess I've got a bit of a reputation for being a jerk," he replied, staring at a lump on his plate and trying to figure out whether it was a jacket potato or a particularly disfigured rock.

"Hey, you're in the fop's band; it's only to be expected that you'd be yet another jerk."

"The fop? You mean Klavier."

"Gavin, Klavier, Unicorn-Head, whatever you call him. I call him glimmerous fop."

"Good one. I'll remember that."

They were distracted from their conversation by a garish, electronic version of Guilty Love. Daryan slipped a slim blue-and-white mobile phone out of his pocket and put it to his ear.

The previously uninterested detective glanced up from her crossword. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"What was that disappointed look for?" Daryan asked when he had finished talking.

"Das was auf Deutsch, ja?" Ema said in shaky textbook German.

"Yeah, Klavier taught me. That was him on the other end of the line."

"I figured."

They continued their meals and crosswords in silence until Daryan finally broke it with a pointless question.

"You're Ema Skye, aren't you?"

"I'm that famous, huh?"

"Klavier told me all about you. His "schon Fraulein Detectiv" or something like that. No offence, but you're not as amazing as he described."

"Gee, thanks."

"Welcome."

"You know, I think I've figured out why they call you a jerk. Anyway," she said as she stood up from the table, "I've got glorious work to do." She made for the door, but Daryan caught her by the lab coat.

"Call me later, Fraulein Detectiv." He handed her his business card.

"Jerk."

Nonetheless, she slipped the card into the pocket of her lab coat and left him to his potato-rock.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: What is this?! I don't write fluff!! Looks like I do know. Anyway, I don't own Ace Attorney, and if I did, Edgeworth would have to dress up as the blue badger and do the Funky Chicken whenever his case got blown to pieces.

A waterfall of notes came from the guitar as Klavier casually plucked the strings, staring out at the view of LA. He lay back in his chair, allowing the gentle rippling waves of the music wash over him until they were rudely interrupted by the slam of the door.

"Dude, I am sick of working with morons." Daryan threw his stylishly ripped rucksack on the floor and collapsed on top of it, crushing any fragile evidence inside. It wouldn't be the first time his don't-care-and-don't-want-to-care attitude had destroyed a case, so he didn't care – and didn't want to care.

"Bad day?"

"Obviously." He flicked through a case file, then threw it out of the open window in frustration.

"I'm sure it didn't help when we abandoned you at lunch," Klavier said with a smirk. "Or at least, that's what your angry text said."

"Ah, but I sent that text before lunch. And now I couldn't thank you more." Klavier expressed his surprise with risen eyebrows and a sudden clashing chord.

"In the cafeteria," Daryan continued, "I met a certain Fraulein Detective."

"Honestly, Daryan. You'd chase any girl."

"But Klav, you know as well as I do that Ema isn't just "any girl". She's … different. For one, she didn't flee the cafeteria the moment I walked through the door. And then there's all that open hostility-"

"Whoa – is this what I think it is? The guys are going to adore this."

"What?"

"Daryan Crescend, head-over-heels in love with a girl he's only spent fifteen minutes with. I never knew you were the love at first sight type."

The stared at each other, Daryan glaring and Klavier smirking. Suddenly, Daryan joined Klavier in his smirk.

"Any evidence? Cause without evidence you haven't got a case, Klav."

"Oh, it can't be long now."

As if Klavier had snapped his fingers and cast a spell over it, Daryan's phone filled the room with the same electronic guitar solo that the cafeteria had had to put with at lunch.

"Daryan Crescend, International Affairs."  
_"Hey there, jerk."  
_"Wow! When I said call me I didn't think you actually would."  
_"I need a favour."_  
"I should have known it was too good to be true."  
_"Shut up and listen. International Affairs, yeah? You're an important guy. With influence."_  
"You bet. I'm God's gift to the world."  
_"Sure you are. Does this influence stretch to the forensics labs?"  
_"A little. Why would you- oh no."  
_"Aw, come on, Darry! I've got some really important tests to do."  
_"Darry?! And what happened to all your mail-order junk?"  
_"It's not junk, it's equipment! And the repo-men took it away…"_  
"I can't get you access to the labs."  
_"Why not?"_  
"Because funnily enough, I don't want to lose my job."  
_"You know what? You are a jerk."_  
"Listen, princess, I can't – or maybe I can. Meet me outside the precinct on Sunday and I'll have something sorted. But you owe me big time!"  
_"You bet! Thanks so much, Daryan."_  
"It's nothing."

He hung up and smiled, forgetting where he was. Then he remembered as he glanced up at Klavier, who was keeled over laughing.

"Darry?!"

"Shut up … fop."


End file.
